you’re the only one who will look out for you. Everyone else is doing the same for themselves.

Trust isn’t easy to come by, and if by chance it’s acquired, it’s more easily lost than kept. But it’s necessary.

I don’t’ think I’ll be trusting anyone for a while. I feel the need for a higher understanding, and I can’t imagine it. I’m trapped in my mind and in my habits, and I’m afraid I’ll never make it out. Is my life really meant to be an example of how badly someone can fuck up? I feel like shit and I’m alone in my misery. No one for help, for guidance, for relief. I can’t trust anybody. There’s no one in this world who has my back like I had theirs. I don’t want to play giver anymore.

I’m afraid I’ll go insane if I don’t leave. It shouldn’t bother me this badly, but I’m a wreck. Something was really important to me, and I’m terrified and depressed about something, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what part of my life fucks with me worse.

Please let the good times roll or I might not survive this episode.