i’ve finally realized that the life i lived with him was one of lies, lust, naivete. i know now, there are men out there. there are good people who will fight for me, they will TRY for me. they will honestly love me.

these people, they’ll do what you never wanted to. defend me, protect me, hold me, take care of me. they’ll do it because they love me, because they want to and they feel like i need it, not because they were bitched into it.

as much as we fought and i thought i was doing everything wrong, i was right about one thing. you didn’t love me. you didn’t care if i was with you or not. you didn’t worry about me. you didn’t fight for me. you didn’t even try.

baby, i’m going to find one of these guys one day. maybe when i do, my relationships will not have just been a heap of failures and deceit. maybe i’ll be wrong about everything. but maybe i’ll be right. i’m at ease now. my mind isn’t racing anymore, wondering where youare, what you’re doing. you never could ease my mind, and it made me so crazy. i loved you, who didn’t love me back. i was devoted to you, who couldn’t do the same for me. you weren’t bad, you just didn’t give me what i need. so this time i say goodbye, i mean it. we’ll be better off i’m sure. and let’s be honest… we knew it’d be this way.

i walk away with a heavy heart and straight shoulders. goodbye