I don’t know how to express what I feel about you. I don’t know how to feel the way i feel about you. i’m still a kid, i’m sorry i didn’t let you be. i have to try, to feel the pain of you. I have to try to bring myself to mourn you. my mind is tired, my body is tired, my soul is dying. i’m so sorry. I wish i could’ve had you in my arms. I wish you could’ve felt my warmth. I would’ve shown you the world in all it’s glory and pain. I didn’t take care of you. I didn’t do right by you, and i know. I’m sorry. i couldn’t do it. if i could have you without your father, i would love you with my whole broken heart. I’m so sorry i never loved you like i should’ve. i’m so sorry i let them take your life. I should’ve protected you, shouldn’t have ignored you. my darling, i’m so sorry.

June 15, and you would’ve been beautiful. i’ll always keep you in my heart, my darling. my baby.

I wish you were here.