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I need a new life.
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I don’t need a sugar daddy I just need to brush these leeches off.
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You are special. You are different. But you’re just not the one for me. I still happen to want a man.
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As I mentioned before, I will never find the right one. I will always be three steps wrong and I will always be unaccompanied. I’m not meant to depend, and I’m not meant to take care. I’m meant to be by myself, forever. I take this as my time to be as much myself as I can possibly be in my own time. I could only stay away for so long I guess.
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I see no good reason to keep living the way I am. I don’t need or want to continue this sadistic struggle to survive. I just wanted to be happy. Maybe all the selfishness in the world works against us all.
We’re always gonna be alone no matter what you think or do. It maybe that’s just me. -
Wasn’t I the victim? Didn’t he treat me the way he did? Why do I feel like shit? Maybe it’s because I’m feeling alright but he’s just taken a dive. Where did I go wrong with my life?
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I really need to stop giving in to him. He’s not what I’m looking for. I’m done with being one of many and never the first choice. I need sincerity now. And he doesn’t have it for me.
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How do you battle the thoughts runnin like poison through my veins? I need a cure a treatment an antidote.
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In not so easy that a pat on the ass will change the fact that I’ve changed my mind about you. I’m in a bad place and youre here with me but you aren’t making an ounce of difference.
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How have I not noticed sooner the way he uses me? The way he humiliates me. Sees right past me. You don’t deserve me either. I will not be yours. You ruined it because you’re not any better than the rest of them you’re the exact same. My eyes see things too I do notice things.
I’m an idiot. Im gullible. I’m stupid. I’m reckless. Im easy. I’m full of self loathing and ill intent. I’m crazy with jealousy. Don’t worry I already know.
I might be dying. I might be recovering. I dot know. Only that I hurt and I have only ideas to bring me to these conclusions. I’m messing everything up lately. What’s wrong with me. Why am I still in this rut. How am I not getting out?
